I'm calling Father Christmas

God I love Christmas. Chestnuts roasting on a open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, mistletoe and wine, children singing christian rhyme, logs on the fire and gifts on the tree. STOP! Yes, I love it for all those reasons, but mainly because it's the one time of the year that the ultimate bribe can be used. "If you're naughty, Father Christmas won't come!" Is that mean? Come on hands up who else uses this one. There are several variations on this bribe that work equally well:

• "Remember, Father Christmas doesn't bring presents to naughty boys/girls and he can see everything."
• "Shall I phone Father Christmas and let him know you are being naughty?"
• "Look at those birds, they are Father Christmas's helpers and will fly back to the North Pole and tell him what you have been up to."

Now, we have to wait a whole year before this bribe works and to be honest, I am currently milking it for all I can get.

Take tonight for example, I have already been on the phone to the man dressed in red with a white beard whilst trying to get Damien to go to sleep. The conversation went as followed, whilst Damien intently listened in:

"Hi is that Father Christmas?"
"Oh hello, it's Damien's mum."
" Yes, he won't go to sleep."
"Very naughty behaviour indeed."
"Oh, you have already got him the Power Ranger Samurai Remote"
"OK, I'll tell him you will only bring it if he sleeps."

With me hanging up the phone Damien rolled over and started to go to sleep. Well I thought my luck was in. Only two minutes later, he starts playing up again. "Do I need to call Father Christmas back?"
"Yes!" said Damien, hmmm now what do I do? So I picked up my mobile and pretended to call him and said the line was engaged and that I shall try again in a minute. Think of it as a warning. With that he turned back over and went to sleep. Result!

I have to admit, I find myself saying it quite a lot but I know I am not alone. I heard one mum telling her little one they couldn't have a toy, because there wouldn't be any left for Santa to buy for the children.

I know this won't last and there will come a time when I am no longer able to use this amazing bribe. Like I said, it only has a limited shelf life so I am going to use it before its sell by date in January.