Wow, I feel blooming awful and not in the physical sense either, there is no headache, no sickness and no aches and pains but I would say my mental health has taken a bashing. This I can attribute directly to two very small children and one in particular, who you might say, very closely resembles the devil! I think you all know who I am referring to.
I can safely say that my children have defeated me today, they have taken every last drop of my energy and in some weird superhero fashion used it against me one way or another.
By this afternoon, I had lost the battle and it was now a case of how much will I lose by?
I was so sick of the sound of my own voice, I had given up with shouting. When Damien ran off in the forest, I shouted the usual One....Two....(please turn round as I have no idea how to handle three) Three, that I scared a cow and i thought it was going to chase after me.
I couldn't actually bring myself to do anything about the fact that Damien took off his welly boots to jump in the muddy puddles. I just ended up standing there watching thinking, I know I should step in but I just couldn't find the energy for yet another battle. He ended up being striped naked and going home minus his clothes.
I think the problem is down to the constant lack of sleep. It's taking it toll. Yesterday I made Damien pretend he was Father Christmas just so I could lay down in his bed whilst he brought me presents. In fairness, he loved it but I felt like a bad mummy because I just didn't have the energy to play.
Today, I have taken to comfort eating and had amongst other things, two chocolate donuts and then felt so bad, I almost ate a third.
Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to make a conscious effort to not be defeated until at least dinner time.