Thursday, 25 October 2012

Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Since having children I appear to have become a liar, not a massive liar, perhaps exercising flexibility of the truth would be a better description. I was thinking about this the other day whilst I heard myself saying: "Right, I'm leaving without you, only Dennis and I are going" during our usual battle of trying to leave the house.

I seem to make up all sorts of elaborate tales just to get my toddler to cooperate. There are three main areas where my story telling or down right lies come in to play.

Number One: Getting him to go to sleep.

Every night is a battle getting my three year old to bed. We have tried everything, here are a few of the lies I have told:
• If you go to sleep now Mike the Knight will come and sleep over.
• If you don't go to sleep, I'm cancelling your birthday party.
• You can eat an entire bag of sweets in the morning if you go to sleep now.
• I'm throwing away all your toys if you don't go to sleep NOW!

Number Two - Meal times. I am the queen of making up different names for food just to get them to eat:

•That's not cauliflower - it's mini white trees.
• it's not macaroni cheese it's penne cheese.
• That isn't courgette it's sea cucumber.
• This is what Power Rangers have for dinner.
• Sweet potato, butternut squash and anything orange are actually carrots.
• Parsnips are not parsnips they are chips.

Number Three - the battle to leave the house.

Is it just us that takes forever to leave the house. It's a nightmare and a constant bone of contention in our house.

• Yes of course your toy is in the car! Clearly it isn't but shhh, don't tell him that.
• let's go and see if we can find our neighbour Helen, she wants us to chase her.
• Yes, you can wear your welly boots and PJ bottoms. But I don't say that you will be getting changed when we arrive at our destination.

Then comes the standard lies,

• We can't go there it's closed.
• That ride doesn't work - it's broken.
• Of course you don't have to go in the trolley.
• The swimming pool needs refilling there is no water in there.

I know I don't have much longer to get away with these tales, but whilst they work, I'm sticking with it!


  1. Parsnips are chips here too and so are apples cut into slices! xx

  2. My friend told the worst lie in the whole wide world.....she bought them a puppy and after a few days she couldn't cope with it so told them had died....just like that! Seriously, when you write them all down like this, it's quite scary how many lies we tell our kids - mine are older now, I can't get away with so many!

    1. That is priceless. I know I shouldn't laugh but wow! Classic. Xx

  3. Hahaha wait til christmas and you can tell him that Santa is watching :-D

    1. My friend does that all year round. She tells her toddler that the birds are a spy for Santa! Xx