Jeeze Louise and then some

Holy mother, what a day! I can safely say that Damien has been on top form! We've had major tantrums and general devilish behaviour from dawn till dusk. I seem to have spent a large chunk of my day shouting "DAMIEN... NOOOOOOooooo!"

If I had a pound for every time I said, 'that's naughty!' I would be a very rich mummy and probably employ a nanny!

We had a trip to soft play this morning to let off steam but that turned into a nightmare! Plastic balls and foam shapes went flying and Damien thought he could bundle every child in sight. Am I the only person who finds this behaviour embarrassing? I am forever apologising for it and I sometimes dread taking him out to places incase he does it!

Surprise,surprise we have had our regular trip to the doctors this afternoon! Dennis now has an inhaler, poor little love, due to his constant wheeze! Perhaps he should give up the fags! Bad habit!! Any how, when I went to sign in the board said 60 mins wait for the clinic! I could feel the hot sweats start to rise, an hour in the doctors waiting room with Damien is hell on earth! The only other place he is so unruly is the library! The Receptionist tells me it's now 20 mins and I think I can handle that. Oh no, how wrong was I? The other patients were privileged to witness him in full swing, magazines go flying, he is shouting and running everywhere, you get the idea. I literally clear up one mess whilst he starts destruction something else!

I swear we were fast tracked to see the doctor so we didn't disturb the peace any longer! One good thing I guess....Perhaps I could rent him out fair this purpose? Hmmmm.

Today has made me realise that I am officially that mum that I used to walk past in the street and think, 'control your child' I am now her! Is that karma or just my complete lack of ability to control my child?

I am 'that' mother in the following instances; please note: all shouted out very loud.

1. The supermarket - "I want it and I want it now."

2. Any form of queue - "put me down - now"

3. On a play date - "go home! Get out" or "that's mine"

4. In the chemist - "get out girl it's my shop, you're not allowed in here!"

5. At a restaurant - "where's my dinner? I want it now!"

I want it and I want it now all feature very regularly and if I am lucky he will stop shouting when I quietly whisper in his ear. "if you stop shouting , you can have a sweetie" naughty mummy!

However, I learnt this evening that daddy pig offered him a scooter if he played ball, literally, as he was at a football group! So, my sweetie bribe has been beaten!