Wednesday 23 May 2012

Poo on his hands

Phew...What a day! as much as I love the sunny weather, I am not overly enjoying it presently. Dennis wails every time I put him down and if I dare to leave the room without him, he screams his lungs out until I pick him up again. Heaven forbid I could consider using both of my hands today.

Damien has also been slightly more possessed than normal which doesn't sit well! He refuses to wear a nappy, which is fine at home but as it's only day two of potty training we aren't quite there when it comes to going out you see. So battle number one of the day begins an hour before we leave the house. Getting ready to go anywhere if you have two children can feel like mission impossible. I am forever telling Damien that I will just take Dennis and that he will be left to his own devices, and head for the door. This usually works, but I have had to shut him in once and ended up having to explain to my neighbour why I was locking my two year old in the house and not to call social services! I think she took pity on me, she does after all live next door to him!

I had a lovely image in my head of having a picnic in the garden with the boys. Dennis happy in his high chair and Damien and I tucking into sandwiches, fruit, 'jam' (that one is Damien's idea) and a jug of squash! Crash back down to earth with a reality check! Dennis makes me hold him whilst buttering bread which is no mean feat in itself, especially when said butter is rock hard and rips the bread to pieces. Consequently, we had sandwiches with holes in and actually very little else as we only had two slices of ham!

When we finally made it outside, Damien had the mother of all meltdowns because I took some of the 'joint' crisps from the bowl and all hell broke loose. Long story short, all three of us ended up in a cold bath to cool off. One problem there, Damien wouldn't get out and Dennis didn't want to get in. So I had to sit starkers on the bathroom floor while Damien splashed about! Not one of my best ideas!

After an exceptionally long and tedious afternoon it came to dinner time. Damien didn't make the toilet this time so I had to do a quick clean up job. This meant I forgot to put Dennis' nappy on and put him in his high chair. Opps, big mistake!

Both boys were amazing during dinner very well behaved! Daddy Pig came home and instantly annoyed me. I had just about taken all the whining from the men in my life that I could handle. So I passed the parenting reigns over to Daddy Pig and went upstairs to clean up the destruction from a day at home.

After a little while, I could hear my name being called and at first I chose to ignore it, thinking "I have to deal with two of them on my own so you can too!" After a few more name calls, I took pity and went to see what had gone on. Daddy Pig was covered in poo, that nappy I forgot to put back on Dennis earlier, had come back and bitten us in the arse! Not only was Daddy Pig literally in the shit but Dennis was covered in poo as was his high chair (as that was where the offence had taken place). I took Dennis to clean him up and Damien appeared and started to rub my back. How lovely I thought. Until he said "mummy you have poo on your back!"

Great, so I was covered in poo now and clearly so was Damien! Back to the bath for the lot of us! What a 'shitty' day! Lol x

6 comments:

  1. While not wanting to laugh at your misery, I do find this refreshingly hilarious! Being a mother is not all roses and successful craft activities is it? Thank God we haven't had any poo incidents like yours though! I hope you got a well deserved bottle of wine later!
    :) Karin @ Cafe Bebe

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much, it's all good fun and games! My two year old wouldn't sit still for more than five mins so craft activities are well out the window it's more a case of damage control here. I bought a box of wine today, just in case. X x

    ReplyDelete
  3. This had me laughing. Why do these things always happen the moment we think we have a second to tidy up our house and our mind for a little bit?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! I think I have got used to not being able to do any house work as I can't leave the boys alone in the same room for more than a second! X x

      Delete
  4. It's exhausting isn't it? I did laugh at the end though, shit happens eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It certainly does, but all over my back was bloody disgusting! If its not poo it's sick. At least I can laugh about it though! X c

      Delete