We have been super busy since the last time I updated you all on the adventures of Damien and Dennis. Some days have been amazing, whilst others have been amazingly bad!
Last Wednesday saw us take delivery of our new bed! Very swanky, full memory foam and all new bedding too. We just had to go for the king size, and let me tell you ladies that six inches makes all the difference :-)
So there I am putting the finishing touches to the bed and buttoning up the duvet when Damien announces: "I'm taking a wee on your bed mummy!" I have never been so gutted. Daddy Pig and I have looked forward to having a new bed for years!
Within five minutes of the bed wetting incident and Damien in time out, Daddy Pig then drops his watch (not water proof i might add!) down the toilet! Major fail.
We think leaving the house might be our best bet, but on this occasion I really may well have had three children with me. (yes Daddy Pig, I am talking about you).
Whilst having lunch with the boys at McDonald's (ignoring all the eye rolling from you health conscious people out there) we start to get attacked from the next booth with random objects. I look up just in time to see Daddy Pig launching a happy meal box back. "What on earth are you doing?" I said. "They started it" came his mature reply. At this point I tell the children off, Daddy Pig included and explain that it is not acceptable behaviour to be throwing items over the booth. Taking his daddy's lead, Damien lobs something over just as I finish...making my telling off seem worthless!
Cheers boys, I would have had a more civil lunch had I gone to the zoo and eaten with the monkeys.
So we move on to last Friday which saw me tackle town again, but this time minus Daddy Pig and replaced with Nannie Plum. I don't know what I was thinking after last weeks debacle, but nonetheless we braved it. I needed a new bikini for our holiday as for some reason I have decided to embrace my mummy tummy! Big up to all the other mummy tummies out there too. Anyway I digress, we actually don't make it anywhere past lunch! Not a great move as that was our first stop!
Damien threw the mother of all tantrums, one to be proud of in fact. Needless to say you can see where this is going and ended up a disaster. During the heightened stage of his paddy, about a seven out of ten on the tantrum scale, Damien spilt a full cup of fanta all over the table whilst trying to mount it to make his escape. Now, as the saying goes, 'there's no need to cry over spilt milk, or fanta in this case.' but what was truly awful was that it went all over my new iPhone. Doh!
Sod the expression, I cried like a baby when it didn't work for a bit! Furious was an understatement. Daddy Pig tried to call me a few times and he could hear me but I couldn't hear him. Then he tried calling from his work phone which came up as unknown caller and without thinking I let rip, in the linguistic sense not the bodily function end, and would have made even a hardened sailor blush. I realised half way through my expletives that it may not be Daddy Pig, apologised profusely and hung up.
After a weeks holiday we are all fully refreshed and ready to cause chaos back in reality...
I am sure more adventures are to be had now the boys are back in town.....